Last Friday Night ...

If Katy Perry was a mommy,
she would've had a very different Last Friday Night ...

(click HERE for original video/music link so you can sing along ;)

There's a toddler in my bed,
And she’s pounding on my head
Goldfish all over the room
Someone’s bike is in the pool
I smell like granola bar
Ken is melted in the yard
Barbie's on the barbeque
Guess they’re gonna miss their cruise

What a crazy night
But we’re all alright
Just nude
Oh well
That's a crayon blur
But I'm pretty sure it ruled                                                                                             

Damn

Last Friday night
Cracked their heads on tabletops
And behind on all their shots
They need baths but I forgot

Last Friday night
Yeah, we lost our hockey cards
And fell off the monkey bars
So we hit the ice cream hard

Last Friday night
We lost Bobby in the park
Kid just wandered in the dark
Then showed up in someone’s bra
Last Friday night
Childless neighbours are in awe.
Always hope we're gonna stop-op
Whoa-oh-oah

This Friday night
Do it all again
This Friday night
Do it all again

Trying to protect the tots
Don't know what to tell the cops
A minivan our only car
PTA is at the door
Gawd, this place is such a mess
But these kids are just the best
Think I need a nice cool ale
That was such a mommy fail

What a crazy night
But we’re all alright
Just nude
Oh well
That's a crayon blur
But I'm pretty sure it ruled

Damn

Last Friday night
Cracked their heads on tabletops
And behind on all their shots
They need baths but I forgot

Last Friday night
Yeah we lost our hockey cards
And fell off the monkey bars
So we hit the ice cream hard

Last Friday night
We lost Bobby in the park
Kid just wandered in the dark
Then showed up in someone’s bra
Last Friday night
Childless neighbours are in awe
Always say they wish we’d sto-op
Oh whoa oh

This Friday night
Do it all again
Do it all again
This Friday night
Do it all again
Do it all again
This Friday night

T ... G ... I ... F...
T ... G ... I ... F...
T ... G ... I ... F...
T ... G ... I ... F...
T ... G ... I ... F...

Last Friday night
Cracked their heads on tabletops
And behind on all their shots
They need baths, but I forgot

Last Friday night
Yeah, we lost our hockey cards
And fell off the monkey bars
So we hit the ice cream hard

Last Friday night
We lost Bobby in the park
Kid just wandered in the dark
Then showed up in someone’s bra
Last Friday night
Childless neighbours are in awe
Always say they wish we’d stop
Oh-whoa-oh

This Friday night
Do it all again

~

All moms know ...

nearly every peaceful moment, during the summer, is ruined by the phrase

"EEEEEW! What's that?"

~

anyone who just overheard me ...

would think I was babysitting gangsters, not little girls:

"Let's not get crazy & have a sit-down, before someone gets whacked."

:D

Asks MeMe: Where's Baby Blankie? ...

Mommy: Check the dryer.

MeMe: Found him! He was in the dryer!

Mommy: Is baby blankie a girl or a boy?

MeMe: Kinda both. It depends. It changes.

Mommy: So it's a trans-gendered baby blankie?

MeMe: No. Polar fleece.

~

Guess who's on Tooth Fairy duty AGAIN?

Second time this week. Fourth time in a month.

Someone PLEASE buy this kid a pony,
so she'll stop ripping her teeth out for cash.

~

Listening to 3 little girls in my kitchen ...

making s'mores with the Easy Bake oven.

I smell something burning and suspect it's probably my nerves.

~

I'm smart enough to know ...

the tap tap tap on my arm in the grocery store
and "Mommy, we're outta icecream cones"

doesn't mean we're out of icecream cones, it means we're out of waffle cones

I also know the big cute eyes mean I'm gonna spend the next hour & a half
suffering through Gnomeo and Juliet.

~