whoot whooot whooooooot ... whooooooooooot ... whoot-whoot ...

I have to ask w-w-w-why why WHY, with all the music and arts cutbacks in public education, no one has thought to get rid of the perpetually annoying RECORDER???

MeMe & Mommy get rich quick idea # 4,331,842

I’m thinking of pitching a TV show idea to TLC channel called "One kid and stopping", but somehow I don't think they'll be interested.

that's crazy talk

I just asked MeMe if she wanted cinnamon toast for dinner and she said no. 

Now she’s shredding up her Justin Bieber magazines.

It’s official. 

The baby-girl has an acute case of dementia due to gastro-intestinal cootie disease.

~

O-C-D-O-G

I have realized, when the baby-girl is sick, the true depth of the border collie's obsession with her is revealed. 

Some's prolly natural herding and protective instinct, some's prolly cuz the kid smells like barf.

cartoons are educational

I’m working on a writing assignment for the course I’m taking ... and realizing everything I know about monologuing I learned from watching The Incredibles.

Love and other ingredients

Love is torturing yourself by baking delicious-smelling coconut muffins for your kid, even when you’re on low-carb and can’t eat any.

New-millennium, honest motherhood is sneaking Benefibre and protein powder in the muffin batter,  and admitting it's partly out of spite.

Who IS this kid?

I asked MeMe what she did at school today and she replied,

“First recess, I stayed inside to practice a cheer for an assembly.  Middle recess, I went to drawing club. Last recess, I played with my recess buddy. He’s a little boy that I hang out with sometimes, cuz he needs special help.”

To the nice, friendly, helpful lady who was in the maternity wing at the same time as me:

I think I got your kid.

Hilarious things MeMe said/did: # 3,802, 344

[laying on the couch]

Mommy: Skootch over, I'mma lay down.

MeMe: Why?

Mommy: Cuz I'mma love you up.

MeMe: But I'm watching cartoons.

Mommy: No, you're not, you're gonna snuggle with me.

MeMe: Mommy, I'm going to love you AND I'm going to watch cartoons.

[tickle fight, mommy wins]  ... :D

Mommy: How're you feeling?

MeMe: Huh?

Mommy: How're you feeling?

MeMe: Good.

Mommy: Like what ... how're you good?

MeMe: MOMMY, are you asking me my MOOD? Do you even KNOW what that IS??? Get off me. Tom and Jerry's on. THAT'S my mood.

SalaMeMe Sammich

(this is why I need caffeine asap in the morning) 

Mommy: What’ya want for lunch? Turkey sammich or salami sammich? 

MeMe: Salami sammich. 

Mommy:  Cheese? 

MeMe: Yeah, please. 

Mommy: But no butter or mayo? Last time you said you didn’t like it. 

MeMe: No, I don’t like it when the butter gets on the salami or the cheese. It gunks them up. 

Mommy: But if it’s in the sammich, does it matter? 

MeMe: I take it out. 

Mommy: You what? 

MeMe: I take it out. I take it apart. And then I hate when the stuff’s all gunky. 

Mommy: But do you eat the bread? Wouldn’t it be dry? 

MeMe: Yeah. I eat it. Yeah. It’s dry. 

Mommy: But if you take it apart anyhow, do you just want me to leave it apart? I can make it all separate. 

MeMe: Then I can just build it? 

Mommy: Yep. But then ... if the salami and cheese don’t get gunked because they’re separate., do you want butter? 

MeMe: OK,  but what kind of bread is it? If it’s a bun, butter. If it’s bread, then prolly no butter. Or can you give me butter in a little container? 

Mommy: That’s called a deconstructed sammich. 

MeMe: A whuh? 

Mommy: A deconstructed sammich. When it’s all the parts, but they’re separated. 

MeMe: I don’t know why you have to make it so complicated, mommy.

New on the life to-do list

I would like to buy out Hasbro and promptly fire all of the hearing-impaired toy designers who are immune to loud obnoxious electronic noises.