the birds and the bee$

Have been watching cartoons, eating cookies and playing Horseopoly with MeMe.

It would've been a completely stress-free afternoon, if the baby-girl hadn't asked what a stud fee is.

wakeupwakeupwakeup

I like to pester MeMe awake in the morning and then ask her

"Do you have that 'my mommy loves me' feeling? Cuz that's a good feeling to wake up with... Do you have it?"

And, this morning, she said

"Yeah. And I have an annoyed feeling. Get off me."

~

sNOwvember

I have decided to give my daughter five dollars if it doesn't snow for the rest of November.

You hear that, Mother Nature?

If you've got any maternal instinct in you at all, you'll let the kid win the cash.

My new favourite author ...

 I felt really bad about the truthful part. 

Just this morning I told her 
"Getting your period is no big deal. It's not that bad."

Sound the alarm ....

 We are at Mother Hubbard threat-level RED.

We are out of ketchup. Repeat.  We are now out of ketchup.

I won't be your mother figure ...

Was just lypsynching George Michael's "Father Figure" at MeMe while she poured her cereal.  

She said "go get your coffee, mommy" and then walked over to the computer and turned the volume down.  

Any delusions I had of still being the boss are now gone.

Dear Santa, from Mommy

I've been trying to teach MeMe what is ok (and NOT ok) to wrap tinkley baby guinea pigs in. 

If anyone's wondering what to get me for Christmas, I need new dishtowels.

Saturday's parenting strategy (at the ROYAL!)

 Awesome childhood memories are NEVER 

"I remember once when my mom DIDN'T take me to the Royal Winter Fair, DIDN'T buy me two baby guinea pigs and DIDN'T give me fudge for dinner".

It's a cake walk ;)

Just successfully piped icing onto cupcakes for the very first time, 45 minutes before the party starts.

Damn, it feels good to be a gangsta.

Saturday night fever ...

Busy prepping to have 7 little girls sleep over. 

And, by "prepping", I mean main-lining ibuprofen.

"Flock of Love", with MeMe

Over the years, I have written down many many conversations I've had with MeMe. This was one of them, from two years ago.

~~~

October 8, 2008

Yesterday, MeMe and I were sitting at a bus shelter that was covered with graffiti and she remarked on one part, where someone had markered “Folklove”…

MeMe: “Some bad people wrote all over that, mama.”

Mommy: “I know, honey. Some people do silly things to make themselves feel important.”

MeMe [trying to read the scribbles]: “Fokka … Flokka … Fokla … Flockalove … You know, mama, I have a Flock of Love.”

Mommy: “You do? What’s a flock of love?”

MeMe: “That’s when you’ve got lots of people that you love and they are together...”

Mommy: “Together?”

MeMe: “Yeah. A FLOCK of love. I have one.”

Mommy: “Like who? Where is it?”

MeMe [bangs her chest]: “Here. I have a flock of love in here. And there are lots of people in it.”

Mommy: “Well, what the heck does that feel like?”

MeMe: “Like fluttering.”

Mommy: “Who’s in your flock?”

MeMe: “You. Daddy. Grandma. Maybe my cousins, if they don’t fight with me.”

Mommy: “Don’t forget to be in your own flock, Meems. You should always be #1 in your own flock.”

MeMe: “Are you #1 in YOUR flock?”

Mommy: “Nope. When you have babies, then the babies are #1.”

MeMe: “Huh. Well, you can be #2 in my flock of love.”

Mommy: “I dunno how you keep track of all those flockers. You must have a big heart.”

MeMe: “Yuh huh.”

Mommy: “Do people get to stay forever in your flock of love?”

MeMe: “Sometimes. Most of the time. Unless I just stop thinking about them … or they’re mean to me.”

Mommy:  “Then what do you do?”

MeMe [heaving her sneakered foot from back to front]:

"I … KICK. THEM. OUT.”

Thanks again, Disney

Just gave the dog a huge plate of spaghetti. 

Apparently, everything I know about owning a dog, I learned from "Lady & the Tramp".

I feel so mean ...

It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been a parent; 

throwing 17 teddy bears in a washing machine always feels like animal abuse.